


Ache

by aromanticjungkook (missbutterfly)



Series: Drabbles [7]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Feelings, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Intimacy, M/M, Sort Of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-11
Updated: 2019-04-11
Packaged: 2020-01-11 23:01:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18433907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missbutterfly/pseuds/aromanticjungkook
Summary: “Are you okay?” Javi asks, quiet in their corner of the world and Yuzu realises he’s begun to shake.He smiles tightly. “Just thinking,” he says.(or; Yuzu and Javi's last moment together before Euros)





	Ache

**Author's Note:**

> wrote in just over an hour, and unbeta'd ;; oops

This corner of the lounge is always quiet. It has been a little hideout for Yuzu and Javi over the years; both of them finding solace in being away from the watchful eyes of their coaches. Yuzu remembers every time that he’d felt the need to go somewhere where he could let his shoulders sag, let his lungs hurt, catalogue every ache and pain and collect himself. More often than not Javi would eventually follow and they’d sit quietly, Javi’s ankle pressed against his own.

It’s only fitting then, that they’d end up here, on their very last day. 

It’s not really the same; Yuzu feels both stronger and weaker, and Javi’s made up of harder edges. Looking over Javi’s short hair and the thicker goatee, it hits Yuzu that it’ll have been almost exactly a year since they last sat here, before the Olympics, when Yuzu had been broken all over again. Javi had been gentle with him then - certainly far gentler than Yuzu has ever deserved. Somehow, the feeling of his gaze is far softer than even then.

“Are you okay?” Javi asks, quiet in their corner of the world and Yuzu realises he’s begun to shake.

He smiles tightly. “Just thinking,” he says. Javi sighs like Yuzu’s just made a joke.

“About what?”

“The last time we’re here,” Yuzu says, gesturing with his hand. Javi looks around the little worn space and smiles. He hums contentedly before he looks back at Yuzu and it strikes then him that Javi is happy. Javi is really happy.

It eases some of the pressure in his stomach.

Javi looks back at him, knocking his ankle carefully against Yuzu’s uninjured one, as if he’s scared he could hurt that one too. His eyes are half-lidded - warm, tired and sparkling in that way they always are after a day of good day of training. They’re one of the things Yuzu is going to miss most when he leaves; the way Javi manages to settle the buzzing under his skin with a quick glance. _I’m here_ , those eyes say. _I’m still here._

When Yuzu reaches out, Javi meets him halfway. He takes Yuzu’s smaller hand in his own, rough fingers smoothing over the inside of Yuzu’s wrist, and it makes Yuzu shake. Javi pulls at his arm slightly, and Yuzu leans forward so their joined hands can rest on Javi’s thigh where he’s sprawled out comfortably.

“When you go to the airport?” Yuzu asks even though he knows Javi’s flight is tomorrow night.

“Not until 6pm tomorrow,” Javi confirms. Yuzu nods along anyway.

“Excited for euros?” 

Javi gives him a look and rubs his thumb in a tender circle across Yuzu’s knuckles.  


“You want to talk about euros?” Javi asks.

Yuzu smiles, cheeks flushing and Javi shakes his head fondly. Javi tugs Yuzu’s arm a little again, almost shyly this time, and Yuzu tilts his head questioningly. He watches as Javi sits up, and it’s then that he realises how close they are. Their knees press tightly together, and, after a second of visible hesitation, Javi tips forward and settles his forehead against Yuzu’s. Yuzu’s breath hitches.

It’s not the first time they’ve been close like this, and honestly, they’ve been closer. Yuzu can think of many times he and Javi had ended up entangled, holding each other, secure and warm. Yuzu has felt the brush of Javi’s breath on his face more times than he can count; Javi pulling him in for a sweaty hug, panting against his temple after a satisfying day of practice; wrapping him in a headlock and huffing out a bright laugh at the way Yuzu would squirm as he tickled his sides. 

Every long day, every podium, every massive victory and crushing loss; every second of his life that counts has been at the side of Javier Fernandez. They’re a perfectly weighted pendulum, two sides of the same coin, brothers in arms; they’re every cliché Yuzu can think off but doesn’t voice out loud because they makes his fingertips tingle uncomfortably and his chest tighten. 

Javi’s skin is hot and dry against Yuzu’s own, and the atmosphere shrinks around every tiny point of contact between them. 

“Can I do something?” Javi asks, voice so low it could be a purr. It rattles through Yuzu’s aching joints like nothing else possibly could.

“Okay,” Yuzu whispers.

There’s a pause - one matched breath, two, three - and then Javi kisses him. 

There are no words it; no words for the way it feels like every pained throb inside of Yuzu’s body suddenly melts away; no words for how it feels like his nerves are singing. Because he finally gets to have this. Years and years and years of waiting, and Javi finally understands.

Javi’s lips are softer than they look, but their touch is softer still, sweet and delicate. Yuzu’s lungs constrict painfully, but he doesn’t break away to gasp because Javi presses closer, just for a fraction of a second, and then he’s gone from him again, back in Yuzu’s field of vision, watching with concern at the sheen of tears over Yuzu’s eyes. Yuzu wants him back, wants him closer, hotter, wants him there forever, and he’s ready to pull Javi back in until he blinks and the tears fall. 

The way Javi shushes him gently shouldn’t hurt as much as it does. That instant comfort will be gone soon, Yuzu thinks, biting harshly at the corner of his mouth until he manages to stop crying. Javi wipes away each tear that spills down his cheeks, marking their trail with more barely there kisses until Yuzu’s breath evens out of its stuttering. Once Javi notices, he rests his cheek against Yuzu’s, and Yuzu brings his free hand up to cup Javi’s jaw. He curls his fingers along the shell of Javi’s ear in a timid thank you, arching into the drag of Javi’s beard on his skin ever so slightly.

What feels like an eternity passes before either of them dare the shatter the fragile calm that has encompassed them.

“I am very grateful we are both here,” Yuzu murmurs, but then swallows and corrects himself. “ _Were_ here. In Toronto.”

Javi pulls back and the distance aches. Before Yuzu’s hand can fall away, Javi reaches up to hold it there, against his cheek. His eyes are shining too, but he keeps himself together. 

“So am I,” Javi says. He smiles, “We made it here, together.”

Yuzu isn’t sure how Javi can make something so complicated sound so simple.

It bursts out of him before he can hold it back, “I’ll miss you.”

The smile Javi presses to Yuzu’s palm, the sweeping curl of his eyelashes, the sheen of dried sweat along his hairline, is a sight Yuzu tucks away, deep inside, and will keep forever.

**Author's Note:**

> probably the quickest i've ever written anything - i guess javi's interview really killed me
> 
> i hope u like it idk <3


End file.
